I ADMIRED YOU

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I admired you
I looked to you for guidance
I fell for you
Over and over again
And
I thought you loved me too

I have you my body
My heart
My soul
But you threw them away
You took everything away
And left me to rot in my shell

Hearing those words
from your mouth
Hurt more than a
Blade of a dagger
Piercing my heart !!

I hate you for making me love you
I hate you for leaving
And
I hate you for not being there for me

You left me all alone
With no reason why
Or an explanation

For years I have shunned
Every guy I meet
Who comes around my life
No relationships because
I still loved you
The one guy I found to replace you
I didn’t want anymore

I single handedly
Buried my emotions so deep
Not even I can dig myself out
My heart broke
Ripped out in anger and hate

WITHOUT YOU

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Without you
I just sit around
Wasting my life
But
When we were together
Every minute felt too
Important to waste
I tried to be the best person
I can for you
I tried to make you feel special
I did everything in my power
To make you happy
And give you all what you ever wanted

And all I got in return was
Heartache and pain
And a heart so black
Not even the colour could match
the most deepest parts of the ocean
Unseen by the human eye !!

The City Of London A Day In Pictures

SO ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT I WENT TO LONDON FOR THE DAY
TO BE A TOURIST AND SEE THE SIGHTS
AS I HADNT BEEN IN FOR EVER
SO WITH MY TRUSTY SIDE KICK OFF I WENT CAMERA IN HAND

THE LINK FOR THE YOUTUBE VLOG ENTER IS BELOW
CLICK IT OR COPY AND PASTE IT TO GIVE IT A WATCH ITS
ALL THE SIGHTS IN UNDER 3 minutes

Link is http://youtu.be/FOPMuP8JrJl

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Rewind On 2013

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So I’ve been very very bad recently
I can safely say I have not wrote a blog for a month
I feel like that this month that is December
Has been a wild wild month
and I could say that I have not had the time
I’d probably be lying but
It’s true
I have been totally flat out with work
And
Trying to get a social life
And to build my personal life

Twitter
YouTube

People that have read my blog in the past will
Have read all about the shady dodgy dates
The one night stands
And the morning after awkwardness

But as the year is closing in
and a new one beings in 4 days
I have decided to try and do a little recap
of the last month and the last year in a short space

I have spent the year reconnecting with old friends
Which has been amazing
Trying to find someone who will take me out on a date
Or even go out on a date with me !!!
There has been some doozies

I started the year caring for my nan
Visiting everyday as she is not well and is slowly loosing her memory
Which is not nice for anyone to experience
It has had its funny moments
And then the not so fun times

I had a 6 month we’ll deserved break from work
And joined the ranks of a franchisee group
Which has been great work and have met a lot of great people
all over the south cost of England

I’m not gonna lie
I’ve been doing a lot of YouTube videos
Not that I’m some big star
I have 14 subscribers
But I do enjoy making them
Some are funny
Some are embarrassing
I recently hit my 1st year of making videos on YouTube
So I put a little karaoke video up as a treat
it’s had like 60 hits so someone has had a laugh over it

Any way reeling it in now
2014
I hope is gonna be a good year
2013
Was ok but could have been better

The pictures I have added are just a few highlights
from nights out with friends and family
I hope you enjoy !!

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Give You What You Like

HAVE MORE BEAUTIFUL
WORDS EVER BEEN SPOKEN

Please wrap your
drunken arms around me
And I’ll let you call me yours tonight
Cause slightly broken’s
just what I need

And if you give me what I want
Then I’ll give you what you like
Please tell me
I’m your one and only
Or lie
and say at least tonight

I’ve got a brand new cure for lonely
And if you give me what I want
Then I’ll give you what you like

When you turn off the lights
I get stars in my eyes
Is this love?
Maybe someday
So don’t turn on the lights
I’ll give you what you like
Emotions aren’t that hard to borrow
When love’s a word
you’ve never learned

And in a room of empty bottles
If you don’t give me what I want
Then you’ll get what you deserve

When you turn off the lights
I get stars in my eyes
Is this love?
Maybe someday
I’ve got this scene in my head
I’m not sure how it ends
Is it love?
Maybe one day
So don’t turn on the lights
I’ll give you what you like
I’ll give you what you like
I’ll give you one last chance to hold me
If you give me one last cigarette
By now it’s early in the morning
Now that I gave you what you want
All I want is to forget
When you turn off the lights
I get stars in my eyes
Is this love?
Maybe someday
I’ve got this scene in my head
I’m not sure how it ends
Is it love?
Maybe one day
So don’t turn on the lights
I’ll give you what you like.

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#VLOGTOBER 2013 Part 2

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Good morning everyone
I haven’t written much
since my bday 2 weeks ago
I had a week off work
to cry myself silly
for turning 30
and for the last week I worked solidly !!
But I will not lie
I have been vlogging every day
since my bday
The life of me
It’s been fun and interesting to say the least and some funny videos in the making www.youtube.com/user/StephenH83

The link is above if you wanna have a look and subscribe to my channel
Maybe like a few videos while your there

Anyway off track a bit
I am gonna put some lovely pictures here on my blog with done notes to show what’s been happening over the last couple of weeks !!

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Me and the boys in a group pick having cocktails before the big night out

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Little one of Me Andy James and Alex

So yesterday we was on Amber alert for this supposed weather warning
which never showed up here
and I live right on the south coast
on the seaside
We had a lot of rain but
No damage
No high winds
So all is good !!

Work has been challenging
To the day the least but I’m still there !!

Little pic of me and linzi from Saturday night

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Here’s another one from one of my videos to do with my journey across Route 66 in America !!!
Best 4 weeks if my life !!

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So there’s not much else to report I wish there was but there isn’t

Hope all is well
In everyone’s world and I’ll write again soon !!

Enjoy !!

This Week #youtubechannel

Well hello there everyone
It’s been a couple of weeks since I wrote anything

As it’s a new week
So here’s a new blog entry

I have had a boring week last week
I started my YouTube channel
where I have put a few videos
but not got that far with it yet

So Monday I went out for
a meal with a friend
and had a really nice evening
and a few drinks
I worked the rest of the week
Thursday night was pool night
but ended up having to work
and Friday was a
double shift all day
so was boring
also
Saturday was a good day
A good friend came to visit
and we spent the whole day together with his 8yr old son
we had a great day out
caught up with some friends
and then Headed back to mine
where we had drinks and BBQ in the garden till late
it’s was great and today is now Monday it’s 1:26am
Sunday was a blur
I worked 2pm till close
so lost most of the day

It might sound boring
And that I work too much
But that’s my life at the mo
I have 2weeks to go until the big day
And I’m regretting every moment of it

My hair is falling out rapidly
So I decided that
the day after my bday
I’m gonna shave it all off
as I prob won’t have it much longer
😦
http://www.youtube.com/user/StephenH83

Here’s the link to my YouTube account check out some videos and subscribe if you like
The quality of videos will get better and who knows my weekly review videos starting you might get a feature in it if I follow your blog on WordPress

I don’t have many subscribers yet but I’m hoping to at some point !!
Any way
Peace out people
Blogg ya soon !!

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GOING UP IN THE WORLD

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SO TODAY MARKS THE DAY IN WHICH I HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE THE LEAP INTO VLOGGING

I WILL STILL BE POSTING ON HWORDPRESS AS I HAVE BEEN USING IT FOR MANY YEARS BUT I HAVE BITTEN THE BULLET AND JOINED ALL THE SOCIAL MEADIA NETWORKING SITES YOU CAN IMAGINE

I WILL POST THE LINKS BELOW AND IF ANYONE WANTS TO CHECK THEM OUT OR FOLLOW THEM

THEN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO THE MORE THE MERRIER

OR SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON HERE OR ALL THE OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA SITES

YOUTUBE http://www.youtube.com/user/StephenH83

TWITTER https://twitter.com/shalbhuber

INSTAGRAM http://instagram.com/lordofthemanor1

TUMBLR http://www.shalbhuber.tumblr.com/

GOOGLE+ https://plus.google.com/u/0/113167492505526721844/posts

Date Night 2 Revisited

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Here it is !! Date night #3

Looking very wasted in this pic !!

Well as promised
here is my real blog entry
from last weeks adventures
I was pretty wasted on
friday and Saturday night
so I didn’t get much done
on the blog front
and had work all weekend
so that didn’t help to be honest
its the first time today
I have had any time to myself

So here it is
Last week was actually 3 dates
Lunch with Simon at
The Yew Tree in Arlington
Had a beautiful lunch
then to my surprise
he had plans to go for
a leisurely stroll
around the reservoir
yes I said it a
reservoir
it was
2 .3/4 miles around
WTF
But I can’t complain
it was a beautiful day
and such a beautiful walk
the scenery was amazing
the sun was out shining
We walked
We talked
We laughed
A good time was had
As he was driving
I had to get a lift bk
from him which played into his hands as he suggested
we stop off at his place !!

That old chestnut
I’m not silly
But I went bk to his
and we sat on the sofa
and chatted and watched
a bit of TV
before I started to feel a little funny

Sidebar
I am allergic to mushrooms
and the lasagne I had for lunch
i found a bit of mushroom
in the lasagne and didn’t think nothing if it took it out
and ate it all anyway

So in the end he took me home
And we called it a night

This weekend past was good
Spent all of Friday
with friends sitting in the sun drinking and eating
and generally having fun
Saturday was shitty
Work was crappy
so went out after work
and met up with friends
got absolutely hammered
got the barmans phone number
so all in a days work !! Lol

Cut to 3am drunk and horny
on Grindr

Everyone’s favourite
Hook up App

chatting to some guy
ended up going round
to his place
and getting down to it
Ended up leaving there at 5am

Not many words were spoken
we just got down to it
he came twice
I came once
Wiped it off the chin
and went home
I had work at 8am
Sunday morning
I think I must have got 2 hrs sleep before the alarm went off
to get up for work

It was a struggle believe me
and was on a double shift
and it was 30 degrees out side
and I was stuck in a kitchen
next to open fryers
and ovens
for 14hrs !!
#notgoodtimes

So this week has started
and I wonder what
I will get up too this week
No dates this week as such
but who knows
Am working in Worthing
this week travelling every day
and staying in Brighton
for Friday night
with friends so who knows

My others friends are trying to set me up with one of their friends so maybe that might happen this week

Plus tickets for
#BrightonPride
Booked them today
So excited about the Line Up
It’s Going to be amazing !!!!

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Date night 2 / My life in a week #part3

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Well this week has been a interesting week with 3 dates with different guys meeting up with lots of loads friends
Long story short brothers bday lots of booze seeing old friends
Met up for lunch on the Sunday and ended up,walking round the local reservoir for 1 3/4 miles after a full dinner was tiring and knackering but a really nice day

Would love to write more but am totally wasted ona saturday night will write a proper blog entry tomoz night !!!

Let’s just say its gonna be a doozie !!! Lol